I am laying out here at midnight, watching the stars and being inspired. The title of the post might not seem that inspirational though! 😀 Nevertheless, t is gonna be a good one! ! 🙂 🙂
So, a shooting star passed by. I was so excited that I just sprung up and threw myself out of my blanket and just stared at the star for a while, although it was gone. And I remembered that I was supposed to make a wish when a shooting star passed. So i brought myself to think of something to wish for, and weirdly, I couldn’t. I had a few thoughts about what I wanted to achieve, but they didn’t qualify for that shooting star moment. Those goals didn’t at all mean anything to me. Career-related, personal-related, family or friend-related… Nothing was good enough for an ultimate wish at that moment. Except a thought that reflected out in the following sentence.
I wish to be strong in my worst moments.
I have recently changed my perspective on a variety of positivity-related issues, such as, life being forever giving and unconditional love being possible. There is a specific joy that comes along with looking critically and somehow brutally realistically at things that are commonly thought of as motivating. I’m not a cruel person! 😀 There is just a beauty in being able to critically look at things that we use to console our selves with at our worst moments. When you are able to analyze what you do to get out of misery, you get one step closer to the best possible coping way.
Look. I will be brutally honest about my observations.
I have been in a community that underwent a huge downfall in the past one year specifically. From hero to zero, basically. I have seen people fall so fast that they didn’t even have time to blink. And I myself experienced my share of downfalls too, specifically last year. And during this downfall period, it has been enlightening to look at how people coped with that downfall.
The main coping was hope. They were thinking that things were gonna get better. That there was a light after every darkness. That they were suffering now, but some day soon they would be rewarded again and rise to their old positions, and maybe better ones. I saw that work up to a point in some people. But with me, that doesn’t work at all. I just find that thought very selfish and very problematic.
I believe that all of us deserve to fall. Not that we did something bad, or we are bad people. It just not realistic to think that we only deserve to rise up. It is just unfair. We are not perfect, we are not excellent. How can we be possibly only deserving of accomplishments? The question ends up in deserving. Do we actually deserve anything? I believe that we don’t. Things happen to us as a blessing, not because we did deserve them. Because we do have a tendency to overlook all the bad things we secretly did but noone knew and no one punished us for. We tend to only believe that we deserve based on the things that we show to the world as our talents and what we should be rewarded for. I don’t know, I can’t find words to describe how silly I find it when people think they didn’t deserve to suffer.
For sure, we all should have an understanding of fairness, to be able to give it to others and to receive too. What I am saying is that we shouldn’t be surprised when we fail or we go through pain. Maybe we didn’t deserve it from our perspective. Maybe someone was unfair towards us. That is a very big possibility. That doesn’t mean that the people who were unfair were right. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have suffered. Do you understand?
My philosophy is: Don’t be unfair. Don’t tolerate it when someone is unfair towards you. But at the same time, if and when someone is unfair to you, don’t you think that you didn’t deserve to not suffer.
Things do not happen for just one reason. You do not suffer only because Jessica was unfair to you. There can be many reasons why that happened to you other than Jessica’s unfairness. Karma, fate, whatever it is that you believe in- things don’t happen for single reasons. And you cannot judge a consequence based on the only reasons you know.
The problem lies in how we approach success. Getting back to the community I was telling you about. I saw bundles of people talking about how things would get better at their worst day. And things do not get better overnight, maybeyears pass . I am just saying that if you base your hope on the fact that you didn’t deserve to suffer and for that reason things will get better, you are gonna be disappointed time after time until you be successful again. And that is not a good approach to suffering. You just can’t see suffering as something that you don’t deserve and for that reason, something you will be granted from. If you do that you are just very immensely unrealistic in my perspective.
When someone is on top. they should know that they are gonna fall. Things are not gonna go right at some point. That is the rule of life. That is how things work. You are not going to stay up forever, and you don’t deserve to as well. Oh, if you do believe that you deserve to rise then you gotta understand that you should accept that you deserve to fall either. For that reason is why I do not believe we particularly deserve anything. We are blessed with everything: the good and the bad. And when we see the bad as a blessing as much as the good, we survive it. We don’t obsess over success. We just see it as something expected, that is happening at that moment and we live it. We don’t escape it.
Hence, my wish on the shooting star.
It is easy to survive excitement and happiness when we have all the good things. It is hard to survive suffering. And that is why, if I do get the good stuff I wish, I am somehow gonna have had them. But I need all my wishes to help me stay strong when I am down. 🙂 To remind me that it’s okay to be down. It’s okay to not be successful and be at the perfect spots. I, like everybody else, was meant to be down too. The important is not whether we are where we are, but whether we can survive it with gratefulness- ‘cuz everything that truly comes to us is a blessing. Truly.
This is a controversial post, I am aware. That is why you can join me in the comments section so we can find out the best way of approaching this subject! 🙂
See you in another post dear readers, take care!